Sweet Avery is 5 today.
She's so excited and thrilled to be 5! We love her and are amazed that five years have passed since she came into this world. What a big girl!
We had a princess party this past Saturday. It was a hit!.JPG)
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In the most practical ways. Our lives are about meeting basic needs in a timely manner. That can lead to a rut of the deepest kind but with a little shift in thinking, it can be a great blessing. God has equipped us for the work we are to do. If we fight and struggle against it, that is our own to deal with. But if we look at the big picture of what it means to be a woman under Christ, we are called to serve and in specific ways.
There is no doubt that Christians are called to follow Christ. And what did Christ do but meet basic needs in a timely manner while revealing great Truths?
In 1 Timothy 5 verse 9 and following, Paul is giving his instructions for how widows should be classified, cared for and recognized. The requirements are what struck me and as I listed out what an older widow's life should look like, he lists many things that she should have been engaged in over the years. Apart from being faithful in marriage, the fruits of her life should be:
-raising children (i know not all women have this opportunity)
-giving food to strangers
-welcoming God's people into her home
-helping people in need
-always making herself useful
All practical things, all doable, right? This list resonates with me because within this list, you see a lot of what Proverbs 31, the benchmark of a Godly woman, illuminates as well. We are seeing God's wiring of women put into practice and that is a blessed thing!
When we fall into the trap of feeling invisible or useless or a glorified maid (I was going to say servant but that's kind of the point, right?), we need to pray that the Lord would open up to us an opportunity to practice these practical applications and MAKE IT HAPPEN!
Raising children - One day I prayed that the Lord would help me to enjoy being with my kids and not feel burdened by them wanting to play, wanting food, wanting attention...wanting, wanting, wanting. I found myself getting overly frustrated b/c they kept interrupting my tidying, reading, chores, etc. You know what the Holy Spirit said to me in that moment? "Be in the midst of them". That was big, real big. Jesus was in the midst of a bunch of dirty, needy, clingy folks and He loved them. So, now when I feel myself pulled to my computer or the need to cleaning all day for my own sanity or just to eat lunch by myself, I hear that voice remind me to "be in the midst of them".
Giving food to strangers - I'm not sure I've done this to the fullness of it being an absolute stranger. I know that one way I try to flesh this out is to find someone that would be blessed by a meal. Aren't there just days that you wish you just didn't have to think about making dinner? I think about those women who are single moms, working moms or moms that have chronically ill kids. They are always in demand and truly do need some respite. It was a blessing for me to provide them with the chance to sit and enjoy food that they didn't have to prepare. I would challenge you to find a gal that you could do this for. It will speak volumes to her and to you. And imagine what a great way to serve someone you don't really know! I trust that if you ask the Lord to show you someone, a name will come flying to your mind in a second!
Welcoming God's people into her home - I love Cottage Living magazine. I devour that thing when it comes and find myself swept up into the world of restoring, redecorating...and refinancing if we were to undertake even a fraction of the stuff these folks do. But, the point is, my house is my home, my domain. I take pride in it when it is clean and border on insanity when it's not. I get tripped up in the idea that everybody else has a better house than I do and that I am to be pitied b/c I haven't got the house of my dreams. Yeah, that's my coveting coming through loud and clear. The Lord and I are working on that, but in the meantime, He has shaped and encouraged my idea of house vs. home. My hospitality, or willingness to welcome His people into my house, is what make it a home. I want to create a space that glorifies God because my door is open for fellowship.
Helping people in need - I just finished a book called Jim and Casper Go to Church. A guy hires an atheist to go with him to some "popular" churches around the country to get his feedback. The overwhelming thing I walked away with is that this non-believer wants to see Christians following Christ literally in serving others, especially the poor and needy. I think Jesus talked something about the world knowing we are His by the love we show...I know this doesn't come naturally to me b/c it's just a tad too uncomfortable for me but I know that being made uncomfortable is what faith in Christ is about. Faith without works is dead? Yeah, it's hit home and is stirring up some action in my heart.
Always making herself useful - I tie this to a few verses later when Paul is speaking about younger widows and why they shouldn't be added to the list to be provided for. He encourages Timothy to encourage them to marry again because: "...they will become lazy and get into the habit of going from house to house. Next, they will start gossiping and become busybodies, talking about things that are none of their business." We kind of have a problem with some of that, right? So if we are making ourselves useful, we bless others and don't give the devil a foothold. I'm still processing this one. I think it's a practice that grows out of wisdom.
I wanted to put all of this down because I think we should be encouraged by how the Lord has made us to do these good works but also to be corrected in our thinking, self-pity and laziness. We are servants, plain and simple. We serve a most High God that carefully and thoughtfully equipped us for what He has called us to do.
Bless you!
sim
Clementine Kids is off and running! If you are interested in a darlin' tutu for that precious girl in your life, email us and we'll start working on your custom skirt!
Keep in mind that the holidays are coming up and these tutus make for some great pictures!
Visit http://clementinekids.blogspot.com/ for pictures and to contact us about pricing.
Another glorious trip to the Florida Gulf Coast. These pictures are from my mom. Shawn took some too but I haven't gotten my hands on them yet.
A very small sampling...
At the end of the day, when kids are in bed and I exhale (usually in front of the tv), I am moved by the guilt, remorse and regret of my actions or inactions. The barrage begins and I'm it's target for a long duration. Sometimes it's truly lies being fed to me to beat me down in weakness, other times I firmly believe it is correction at the hand of the Holy Spirit. The first is accompanied by a feeling of defeat, the latter brings about a deep sadness in the arms of hope.
It's the sadness I think about tonight.
I love the way the Holy Spirit works. Being that we are all unique, I can only testify to His specific workings in me.
Part of our bedtime routine with the kids is prayers. I am the last one in Ash's room at night. We sing a song of his choosing (ahem, the Bob the Builder theme song), I pray with him and then I kneel at the foot of his bed and pray quietly over him. He likes that I spend that extra few minutes there and I like the purposeful moment of prayer. Tonight, like a wave, the many blessings of the Lord washed over me. Blessings specific to our family. My heart was swelling with gratitude under the weight of "every good and perfect gift". But my heart was at that same moment pierced with my true ungratefulness. How beautiful to be loved so fully that in the midst of blessing you are brought to repentance! That right there is the greatest of blessings!
But my heart hurt and hurt bad at the blackness in me that craves the poisons this world puts before me in such tantalizing array. My heart hurts that I waste precious time bemoaning rusty, moth-eaten junk when the Lord, my God has not only set a place for me at the Great Wedding feast to come but He showers me at this moment with goodness. A goodness that feeds my soul, my very being.
How very sick the heart is! How very grateful I am that He is the Great Physician. How humbled I am that He refuses to take His Spirit from me, that He will not cease to sanctify me until I am whole. How joyous I am to know that my Lord Jesus is right now praying for ME before the Father!
I am undone before the grace of God. And I am learning to love the gutwrenching beauty of being laid bare before the Wise One.
I covet - He overwhelms me with true blessings.
I lie - He makes me to know truth in my innermost being.
I flee from His face in my shame - He waits for me at the well.
I falter in prayer - His Spirit takes over.
Oh, truly, where can we go to escape the overpowering love of God?
I am blessed. In every way. From where I've been to where I am, only a God like our God!
"...pay close attention to their message, as you would to a lamp shining in some dark place. You must keep on paying attention until daylight comes and the morning star rises in your hearts."
In this room there is darkness. The still darkness that casts no shadow. There is no light, no point of reference.
And so I sit in this room.
I wait for my eyes to adjust, for even in darkness, a little can be seen.
Not now. Not here. No hope of that.
I cannot sit for long. I hunger to know of this place in which I am. Much can be learned through the senses even when one sense is arrested. Sound and touch are made for spaces such as this.
I grope, then graze, not feeling much. What I do feel, I have trouble understanding. So much can feel this way or that. I have no confidence in naming my surroundings. But why stop? I have to know this place hidden in darkness.
My hands touch upon a cord, a lamp! The light is bright, painful, a bit uncomfortable...but what joy! I can see! Not every nook and cranny, but enough.
As my eyes take in the room, I'm not sure what I see. And still the darkness tries to quench the light. It appears to grow.
I shiver. I look at the lamp.
The light is peace, reassurance, power. The lamp's light makes me to know the truth: the darkness cannot stamp it out!
And so the light becomes my salvation, my hope, my help. I stay close to the lamp, seeing all through its cast. And as I sit, I see more clearly. Clearer and clearer, my room defines itself: beauty and ugliness, happiness and great sorrow. Messes amass, an effort at tidiness, too.
Is the light growing more intense?
No.
There is a window opposite where I sit. I see the morning dawning! The sky is lighting up in an array of colors just as my soul is filling with love.
The darkness is fading fast, holding desperately to the corners. Soon even they shrug the night off and the room is full and bright and fully exposed. Now the beautiful details are known. No more is the lamp needed for I am bathed in Light!
The walls melt away fast.
Glorious beauty!
Fullness of joy!
I am surrounded by love, engulfed, consumed.
I am known.
Yes, I have fallen off the face of the earth and it's not so bad.
To you friends who are sweet enough or bored enough or something to keep checking in...sorry, my heart is just not in this right now.
I do hope you all are well and I do intend to pop over to your blogs to keep tabs...I'm a nosy gal.
Keitha, my sweet, amazing friend, I'm sorry I missed the chance to bid you farewell. I'm excited to see how things unfold for you all. I appreciate the personal goodbye and with eyes cast down, apologize for not knowing and not trying and not being a good friend.
All you otha' mothas' - keep truckin' knowin' that you are doing what God has designed you to do. He sees and He remembers and He will bless you for the love you share and show to your family!
Love to you and see you when the desire returns (which, b/c Murphy's Law is so true, will be right. about. now!)
sim
So, the month of May is absent from my blog, but boy was it busy here in the real world!
A trip to West Texas, many birthdays and wedding festivities ushered us through the month and dropped us on the doorstep of June.
This is my offering: My heart is full of the goodness of the LORD and I am so thankful that He is quick to run to me when I look His way. I have spent much time in His word and prayer and meditating on words from wise men from the past. Rich, rich time!
Some photos of my sweeties. Little man turns 2 next Tuesday...
With Grandad (my dad)
Fancy cousins in fancy night gowns
Good looks from dad, eh?
Lovin' the slip-n-slide
"Remember the word unto Thy servant, upon which Thou hast caused me to hope"
Psalm 119:49
In that time:
-we sold our house, moved in with in-laws and built our current home
-Avery was a mere 16 months at the onset, she's now 4
-We got pregnant, then lost that child
-We got pregnant very quickly after that
-Asher arrived in June of 06
-Exchanged the quirky english SUV for the rockin' minivan
-Good friends moved back to the area
-Good friends left the area
-My sisters in law had babies
-My dad had bypass surgery
-My parents moved to Mckinney
-Shawn's parents got remarried
-We began our Neighborhood Life ministry and served for 3 years before it ended this past December
-I've connected with lots of old friends and new through the blog phenomenon
...and that just scratches the surface.
It's been awhile since I've uploaded/erased the pictures on my camera. There were photos from the snow days, easter and random stuff. I thought I'd post some up here for the heck of it.
Last week, around dinner time, Asher was roaming around in a bit of a daze. He climbed up on the couch for a bit then got back down. He just seemed out of it. A little bit later I found him on the back porch asleep. It was a gorgeous day and the breeze probably felt great for the little guy. When Shawn got home, he went out back to wake our little sleeping prince. On a side note, I can't believe this little guy is going to be 2 in June.
Avery and Asher like to pretend that they are puppies. I don't find the game all that cute b/c they want to lick me and scratch me and be as authentic as possible... There is a reason we don't have dogs right now! This day I embraced the doggie theme and helped her go the extra mile. Asher followed suit to some degree. He ripped his collar and wouldn't keep his ears on but he did like the mascara whiskers (I don't use eyeliner so that was the best I could do). If he sees me putting on make up (which I try not to do in front of either one - they want to share in the experience), he points to his cheeks.
Our Easter Lamb cake. It was fun to make but didn't get fully consumed. I think a cake covered in marshmallows is a bit overkill. Still, the making of it was the joy for both of us.
You need to take some time and read this letter. It has got to be one of the most beautiful things I have EVER read.
I have just today finished a book by Francine Rivers called "And the Shofar Blew". It felt a bit cheesy at first and I set it aside to read a Nelson DeMille novel. After finishing that book, I went back to the Rivers book. It's a good book...enjoyable and sad and moving and pretty much what you want a piece of fiction to be.
Anyway, it's Tuesday and so I have more time to be pensive. With Avery at school and Asher napping, I drink in the quiet and indulge in uninterrupted thought. Most of the time I fritter away these precious few hours. They could definitely be used in a better form. And it's funny because that's the last thing I want to do...most of the time.
A few minutes ago I was struck with how hard it is for me to "rest". I am by nature a lazy person, so it's quite ironic and comical to think about how I spend my days dashing about the house straightening up the endless messes. It's got to be an outward display of something going on inside, right? And it's so sad that I prefer to tidy up over playing with our kids.
I'm not even sure why I'm writing this. It's not going to make much sense.
I think I have a lot of idols in my life. I think I live in a distinct place called denial. I think I'm terribly self-centered and prideful. I think I've said this all before and that goes to show what a heel I am.
Whether I put all of my efforts into straightening a house, obsessing over diet and exercise or escaping in to a book, it's all the same. I'm running and I can't seem to sit still. It sucks but yet it's so a part of me that it is too painful (or maybe just too hard) to effect true change.
A lot of people are sick and dying. I know that life could stretch for many years before I die. But I also know that my parents are getting older and while they wrestle with their mortality, I briefly ponder mine. We all hear endless stories of sickness and death: cancer rearing its ugly head and killing in short order, senseless tragic accidents. It's out there and waiting for its appointed time.
And that made me think on my brief way home from Target the other day after speaking to a neighbor about his wife's sick brother who has been estranged for many years but now has reached out because he is wasting away from terminal cancer. I don't want to chase after the wind. I don't want to be remembered by my kids as "the mom who stayed home with us...but was always busy puttering around trying to clean up". I don't want to waste hours involving myself in the affairs of others that have no bearing on my life (read: celebrities). I've got enough before me that needs work in the way of relationships of the family kind.
Please pray for me. I am sincere in this request. I need help recognizing the idols in my life. And after that, the strength to crush them into fine powder so they are useless and irreparable. Pray that I would love out of obedience to Christ and that others would know that love. Pray that I would put blinders on when I start longing too much for the things of this world. Pray that I would be brought low when I am lifting myself up. Pray that my world would cease to exist only for me.
Yesterday I laid myself out (literally) before the Lord and asked for Him to meet with me. I have been in such a numb place spiritually. A humanistic view point, really. I had "lost" my spiritual eyes and that makes for very superficial living. I am using the past tense as though it is over and I'm now in a deeply spiritual place. Not so. I'm just being proactive in seeking relationship with God.
I thank the Lord that He stands waiting to meet with us when we call. I called, He responded and that lit a flame of desire.
I pushed through the anxiety that comes so often when I've avoided prayer and stumbled through my jumbled thoughts just hoping the Spirit was interceding on my behalf. I really cling to that truth because more often than not I do not formulate prayers well. My cursed brain runs amok and really has quite the time settling down. Many times I find that writing them out is the only way I can coherently "voice" my prayers.
Anyway, the Lord sweetly brought to mind John 3:8: "Only God's Spirit gives new life. The Spirit is like the wind that blows wherever it wants to. You can hear the wind, but you don't know where it comes from or where it is going."
Ah! It struck a deep chord within me and I'm still meditating on that verse today.
I so often am trying to pluck pieces of God to pull into my world at my convenience and put them in their proper place. In trying to do that I am left frustrated and unsatisfied. Whether it's being interrupted by my kids during a particularly "holy" moment (laughable) or God not speaking to me when I've set aside my few minutes to be fed for the day, I am left angry, not refreshed. My best laid plans would crumble before I could even put them into action. And so a cycle would emerge. I'd try, something would inevitable screw it up so I'd retreat.
There's only so much retreating before the heart hardens and shrugs off things spiritual.
So when God brought me the truth and reminder that His Spirit is like the wind, my spirit leapt within me. Liberating! is the first word that came to mind. His Spirit is active; in me, in the world, in others. He cannot be "grabbed". He won't be plucked only to be put in a box. Neither home, nor kids, nor work will hinder Him. He will move about in complete freedom and we only need to embrace that reckless beauty and stand in the midst of it.
And that looks different, everyday, every moment and for every situation. Praise God for that freedom! We're off the hook to make it work, to conjure up spirituality.
"Christ has set us free! This means we are really free. Now hold on to your freedom and don't ever become slaves of the Law again." Galatians 5:1
If you happened to click on "daily sips" in the previous post, you were probably a bit confused. I have corrected the link so you should be taken to the right place.
This is gonna be quick:
I am in a dry, dry place...
I need a drink of water.
I know where to find the water, we all do.
I am going to force myself to take daily sips.
I pray this does not quench my thirst, but makes it thrive.
If you are thirsty, come drink with me.
So last Saturday Avery had a taste of the glamorous life. She was able to take part in a kid's fashion show at Nordstrom with her cousin Olivia and friend Rory. Big surprise - she loved it!!
Earlier in the week we headed down there and she was able to pick out her outfit. She kept calling this her "Belle" dress. Not sure what about it makes her think that but there you have it.
We got to Nordstrom at Northpark around 7:30 AM and were directed to the dressing room. After donning the chosen garb, we headed to the refreshments so Avery could eat powdered donuts (what???) and I could worry about her getting the dress we were not buying dirty. I also began obsessing about her scuffed up dress shoes and stringy hair. Guess what I realized...I'm not cut out to be a stage mom (and I'm incredibly petty). Yeah, that smacked me right between the eyes as I backed up, told myself to shut up and watched my cutie glow at the chance to be "fancy".
She did great. She smiled and made it down the runway and even gave daddy a big hug to a chorus of "ahhhh"'s. She's ready for the fall show.
Angie and I thought it would be great fun if the girls did this every year and we could capture the changes in pictures. It was a hoot to watch the older (10/11 yr olds) girls strike poses with their accessorized selves.
Out of sheer need to get something else up here, I now share some photos.
Yeah, yeah, I know he's a boy. It's still cute.
A little Church Easter Eggstravaganza fun.
And more fun.
And more fun.
I cannot believe we are having two huge snow events in one week in March in Texas! We just came back in from playing in the falling snow. I cannot explain to you how HUGE the clumps of snow are right now.
On the way home from the church, Shawn hit Target to stock up on some food, stopped by Blockbuster and made sure we had firewood. The kids are warming up while watching a new Dora and I'm snacking on chips, watching the news and typing while looking out the windows. Greatness!!!
Hope you all are safe and enjoying this. How's it in your neck of the woods?
Ah, what fun we had this morning in the snow! We got lots of it! At least 4 or 5 inches. This was Ash's first taste (literally) and I think he had a good time.
Here are some pics.
Breaking my life down in "if...then" statements:
-If I wake up on my own, then I can read my Bible in quiet.
-If I'm in a good mood, then I don't worry about how I look (as much).
-If I'm uptight about my son being such a picky eater, then I make his favorite Annie Shells and Cheese and watch him eat heartily.
-If I keep my house clean, then I like it more.
-If I want to daydream, then I look at houses.
-If the weather is nice and the kids are grumpy, then we take a walk around the block.
-If the weather is not so nice and the kids are grumpy, then we go to the library.
-If Avery is in a good mood, then Asher is her best friend.
-If Asher is her best friend, then I am a happy momma.
-If I'm not careful, then inner-conversation gets the best of me.
-If it were possible, then I would never stop for gas.
-If I'm having a pity party, then I try to bless someone else.
-If I am pms-ing, then I'm a bit of a freakshow (ok, a huge freakshow)
-If I don't have creamer in the house, then I don't make coffee.
-If my parents didn't live so close, then I would be sad.
-If I could live closer to my sibs-in-law, then I would be happier.
-If I could come up with a good story idea, then I might try to write a book.
-If there were a Central Market close to me, then I would be in trouble.
-If I need to get something done or want quiet, then I turn on cartoons for the kids.
-If I have down time, then I would choose to read a book.
-If I could only decide on the right color, then I would paint my family room.
-If I get a goodnight's sleep, then I am thrilled and feel like a normal human.
-If I would only speak up, then I would have more time alone.
-If I have purpose for my day, then it goes much better.
-If I'm too tired, then I don't wash my face before bed.
-If I had the money, then I would buy my husband the tv he wants.
-If I keep thinking, then this list could go on for quite awhile.
I've been tagged by the latest tag wave...I don't have time at the moment to do it. My little man is balancing dangerously on the barstool while stealing his sister's dinner. I will hopefully tackle it tonight because I'm one crazy fascinating person - especially 10 years ago...but after reading Keitha's to-do list, i'm gonna seem like a lady of leisure.
Now the boy has a tire gauge and he's trying to use it as a nasal aspirator, ear plug and fork. NASTY.
Bye!
I'm tired. Tired of coughing. Tired of hearing my family members cough (i think we now communicate through coughing - "marco...polo" style). Tired of snotty noses and cloudy days.
Oh yeah, and tired from no sleep.
I know we are a dime a dozen these days but it doesn't make it any easier when the sum of our four parts are sick and miserable. It seems like this has been dragging on for a few weeks now. I just don't know anymore. I do know I'd like a miracle right. about. now!
So, because I've cleaned as much as I can stand and the kids have watched more pbskids than i can stand, and the sun has stayed away more than i can stand, I'll post pics. It's better than dreaming of wonderfully expensive things to do to my house to make it all that and more! (your insanely-talented fault, Keitha.)
Deconstructing Dishwasher (in happier, healthier times)
A little cartoon watching first thing in the morning before deciding they much prefer bickering.
He's ready to throw in the towel...after Caillou.
Same show, different room, comfy couch.Our ABF (Adult Bible Fellowship) completed Tommy Nelson's Ecclesiastes Study, A Life Well Lived yesterday. I am a huge Tommy fan and was extra motivated to make it to Sunday School, er, ABF each week to learn from him. Yesterday he summed up the main points of the book of Ecclesiastes and I'd like to share them with you. Monday seems like an extra perfect day to throw these out - mine has been textbook bad today.
1. LEARN OF GOD AND OBEY HIM.
Dig in. Find out Who you worship, discover the depths, drink in His awesomeness and know Him. But don't stop there. Obey the One you call God. Nothing less will do. The world will do its best to woo and draw you into the shallow enticements it so easily throws around. Learn that partaking is fleeing in fulfillment, dimming your wisdom and hindering your ability to navigate through life.
2. DON'T ASSUME BAD THINGS WON'T HAPPEN.
I think that if you have been walking with God for any significant time, you know this to be true. The fairytale conversion, happily ever after-garbage has been discarded and you now know that it rains on the just as well as the unjust. Also, bad things happening aren't necessarily consequences to your actions or sins. This world is hell-bent and we're stuck, come what may, for the time being.
3. WHEN BAD HAPPENS YOU REST IN THE KNOWLEDGE OF GOD.
You don't have to be proactive and try to sort through it all, like rubble after a bomb. You have no control, anyway. Relinquish and rest. And remember the God you have learned of. This is not a charge to suck it up, it is a call to submit and remember through your pain, the hope we have been promised. I just love the picture of resting. Think Psalm 23.
4. WHILE RESTING IN GOD, HOLD YOUR COURSE BY DOING RIGHT.
I find this idea profound, and profoundly simple. If the sun has come up another day in your world, you know what to do. Do it. Just because the wheels have come off, your call to morality and obedience and self-control have not been suspended. I find that focusing my efforts on others frees me from the pit I feel I am in. My husband has a proverb on his computer that states, "If you falter in times of trouble, how small is your strength!"
5. LIVE BOLDLY.
Don't worry about what is going to happen. In the wisdom you possess by knowing the True God, grab life and go! It's better to be out there risking it, knowing God has you securely in His hand than cowering in fear at the one life God gifted to you. I gotta seriously work on this one. My backbone is primarily made up of fear.
6. ROCKY ROAD! (Enjoy Life)
Work hard, stay the course, then PLAY HARD! Enjoy what life has to offer. The grace that covers us through Jesus has widened that narrow gate so that we might live freely, with no concern for piety or self-righteousness. Wisdom has revealed to us that we are lowdown, dirty sinners made righteous by Another's sacrifice. With that knowledge, let us embrace that grace and be about the business of living!
Folks, I think people will want to know our Great and Mighty God if our lives reflect these truths!
We are watching
While sipping on
And guess who are asleep? Hee, Hee, Hee. 
The one accessory every girl needs for a good bike ride - pearls.
