this kills me!

Happy Birthday, sweet girl!

We LOVE YOU!!!

Avery's birthday party and family dinner!

we had avery's birthday party yesterday with some of her friends and a family get together after that. today she and asher both had to make a visit to the doctor. both are doing great. avery is 3 ft 1 in and weighs 29 lbs. asher is 27 inches and weighs 18.5 lbs. this time avery had to go potty in a cup and get her blood pressure checked. she is officially a big girl. she did have to get one shot, but she handled it like a trooper. poor asher had to have 4. daddy got his flu shot while there. here are some pics from the birthday party and the family get together.

the gang of preschoolers can't wait for the cupcakes and swimming
mmmm!
Olivia and Avery discussing their baby brothers

Henry (3 months) and Asher (6 months)

my, it's a nice day out

Avery can't wait until Asher can sit up in the tub

Asher and mom in deep conversation about the merits of sleeping all night. As you can see, he doesn't quite buy into it's benefits yet.

See my toy? I can sit up and play with it like a BIG BOY!

That title has nothing to do with this post. I just couldn't come up with a good title. And, it is a gorgeous day outside.



We did a little shopping yesterday for Avery's birthday party. She's having a little get together this Sunday at an indoor water park type place. I know she is so excited and it's been super fun this year to make plans together with her input, etc.



Today shawn and i both looked at asher and thought, "he's getting so big!" he's such a doll and so laid back! And, boy does he like to cuddle! mmm, love it.

trouble sleeping?

no problem! books work wonders!

Love catching our kiddos in the act...of napping.

four generations...almost

i missed the photo op - actually wasn't asked to be in the pic...no hard feelings...much.

avery with her gamma, kk & gigi

i am one with the tree. can you see me? look harder, i'm right HERE!

had a late lunch at Cafe Express over at the Shops at Legacy for my parents birthdays. It was very cold. We stopped at Shockolad for an afternoon goodie. My aunt and grandmother each got ONE piece of candy. They were $2.50 and $3.50 each! I'm talking a 2x2 inch square of chocolate. I, on the other hand, paid $3.50 for a small hot chocolate - pure HEAVEN and oh, so worth it! I have NEVER tasted hot chocolate like this. You know the chocolate river in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory? Had to have tasted like this.

best friends

avery & olivia - bff :-)

the kids

"hey sis, i like your hair! can i have some?"
"no, asher, that's not nice."
"aw, c'mon. you're always stickin' it in my face!"










go away mom! i'm trying to sleep! okay, maybe i'm already out and it sure is dark in here! (thanks, Kristi, for the homemade lovey!)

wedding dress revisited

at least somebody looks cute in it!

When we picked the kids up from my parents house this evening, i saw my wedding dress in "avery's" room. I decided to bring it home. Avery wanted to wear it and i wanted to try it on. yeah, right. that thing is not even close to zipping up. what a reality check and i'm only 6 years out. shawn was helping with the zipper and was so charming:

"that thing ain't coming up." i suck in even harder.

"let me get a tape measure. it's at least a good 6 inches if it fit comfortably." AH, silly man! But when does a wedding dress fit comfortably in the first place. It's good and tight from the get go. I have him pull even tighter while i smush my chest.

"that's about an inch apart but the waist is not even gonna happen." yeah, well, your gut is starting to catch up with you, mister!

a new goal - get the dress zipped up.

Change is good

I needed a change to the look of this blog. I also upgraded to blogger beta which is nice (not sure why. it is easier to navigate and i figured out links!)

O Come, O Come Emmanuel

"O Come, O Come, Emmanuel" was originally used in the medieval church liturgy as a series of antiphons-short musical statements that were sung for the week of vesper services just before Christmas Eve. Each of these antiphons greets the anticipated Messiah with one of the titles ascribed Him throughout the Old Testament: Wisdom, Emmanuel, The Lord of Might, The Rod of Jesse, Dayspring, and The Key of David. from cbn.com

O come, O come, Emmanuel And ransom captive Israel
That mourns in lonely exile here Until the Son of God appear
Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel Shall come to thee, O Israel.
O come, Thou Rod of Jesse, free Thine own from Satan's tyranny
From depths of Hell Thy people save
And give them victory o'er the grave
Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel Shall come to thee, O Israel.
O come, Thou Day-Spring, come and cheer Our spirits by Thine advent here
Disperse the gloomy clouds of night And death's dark shadows put to flight.
Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel Shall come to thee, O Israel.
O come, Thou Key of David, come, And open wide our heavenly home;
Make safe the way that leads on high, And close the path to misery.
Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel Shall come to thee, O Israel.
O come, O come, Thou Lord of might, Who to Thy tribes, on Sinai's height,
In ancient times did'st give the Law, In cloud, and majesty and awe.
Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel Shall come to thee, O Israel.

i like that shirt.

Decorating Christmas Cookies

Me and my girl

Like sister, like brother

Both kiddos at 5 months, respectively

I was looking through pictures of avery at 5 - 6 months and it's uncanny how much the two of them look alike. I'll have to post some pics and have you guys figure out who is who. The red hair is the only major giveaway (and if she is wearing pink)...but that can be taken care of with black and white.

How time flies...

Avery and her "Gamma" - my mom

lovin' those "wide open spaces"

Ah, what a smile!

I cannot believe it's December. We have been in this house almost a year (the 14th), Asher will be 6 months on the 10th and Avery will be 3 on the 18th!

Avery has really "grown up" over the past month alone. She potty trained and gave up her beloved pacie. She's become so independent and witty. The girl makes funny jokes. I'm looking forward to this birthday and Christmas. I think she's gonna really love them this year.

Asher is too cute. He is a big smiler and it melts our heart each and every time. We're working on eating solids right now - you can tell he wants to eat like his big sis but he hasn't figured out how to keep the food in his mouth. He loves his big sis. He'll hone in on her no matter what else is going on-nursing has become a bit of a challenge.

sim

An evening with the Prez...

Laura Bush, looking calm amongst the insanity

Bush and Perry

Lieutenant Gov. David Dewhurst

the crowd

So the guys had a great opportunity to play at the Republican Rally yesterday at Reunion Arena. It was fun to be a part of something like that. I do, however think the whole political set is humorous. i liked watching the ambitious young things wheel and deal with each other. Amanda (another wife) and I just kept looking at each other, smiling. And, what is up with all the cute guys working for the government? Last night would've been a single girl's dream. The secret service are young, the guys that screened us on the way in, etc. it was crazy.

Did you know that those "homemade" signs that you see on tv with cute little sayings are not all that "homemade"? a girl came around before Perry and Bush arrived with stacks of posters for anyone who wanted to hold them up. My favorite was a caucasian woman holding this sign: Yo Quiero Perry. Way to embrace the demographic.

All in all, it was a fun time...snipers and all.

Here are a few pics. I'm waiting for some from Amanda of the guys while they were on stage. They did a great job. Check back for those.

Get out and vote! I'm proudly sporting my "I voted" sticker...around the house...for no one in particular...but it looks nice against my chocolate brown shirt...okay...bye...

sim

We are so blessed.

Trip to Arkansas

Howdy folks!

We just got back from our first official "family vacation". This past Monday we decided to find a place not too far away and spend a few days together. It was a toss up between the Hill country and somewhere out of state. of course, out of state, not too far away = oklahoma, arkansas or louisiana. we stumbled on De Gray Lake Resort National Park in Bismarck, Arkansas. A 4.5 hour drive - not too bad, i hope. I must admit that i was antsy about going on a decent drive with two younguns. But this is one of the areas that i've got to learn to "just breathe" and so, i said, okay, let's go for it.

So, at dinner Monday night, I ask, "are we going or not?" Nothing like waiting until the last minute. Shawn's confident response: "i guess so". uh, okay. hey, bud, there are just a few things to be done before leaving for a couple of days.

Fast forward to Tuesday morning. we're loaded and ready to head out at 8 am. after a stop at the donut shop (for Avery) and starbucks (for guess who), we hit the road, headed east on 380. No traffic and smooth sailing. This is our first long drive in the new van - so far so good. we stop for lunch in Texarkana at Cracker Barrel - (love that place) and proceed to stiff the waiter...by accident. we do stop back by on the way home and leave him his due. i guess it is a regular occurence b/c the lady at the register knew exactly what happened. poor cracker barrel servers.

anyway, the time away was great. we spent one night at De Gray - not much to do but it was pretty and Avery had lots of daddy time in the pool and on a bike ride that about killed shawn...

The next day we drove to Hot Springs and i really liked that. Had lunch, walked around in the historic downtown and took one of those Duck tours. You know, the bus/boat combo meal. Avery got a kick out of that one. More swimming, TV!! (we don't have cable so getting to see Disney channel, HGTV, etc was woohoo!). Today, before heading back home, we hit the Mid America Science museum. it is connected to the smithsonian somehow. It's a hands on place and was a hit. i love that avery is at the age that she is really getting into stuff.

The whole time i just kept thinking how surreal it was that this was a vacation with my family. i remember all of the trips we took when i was younger and how much fun it was. Now, it's our turn to make memories with our kids. Hopefully this was the first in a long line of sweet times with my family.

oh yeah, and the van was rockin'. lots of room - very comfy. time really went by fast.

the way we were

asher did not sleep 7 hours straight and avery came in for a middle of the night visit. luckily she went right back to sleep and asher eats while half asleep so he goes right back down. i went right back to sleep too. man, how many times can i use "right back".

on the plus side, i'm trying a new coffee creamer this morning - southern butter pecan. yummy! i used to suffer through black coffee many a night at cafe brazil b/c hey, that's how you're supposed to drink it. let's get real, black coffee tastes like crap. whiten that baby up and you're in business.

Hump day highlights: great things that have happened so far this week!

1. Shawn is given a very nice bass guitar by a friend at church who has lots of "toys". He was wanting to purchase one b/c he's had his current bass for over 10 years and it wasn't that great to start with. Upon researching the brand of guitar, he learned that Adam from U2 plays the same brand - can't get any better than that for Shawn. He's giddy and we're grateful to our friend.

2. Had a nice dinner with old friends. Always good to catch up -also, celebrated the approaching arrival of nephew.

3. Had a great lunch at Lawry's the Prime Rib to celebrate a dear friend's birthday - and they treated!

4. Avery is feeling back to normal.

5. Met some new neighbors.

6. Have actually been getting our Neighborhood Life hours.

7. Got Readers Digest in the mail yesterday and it's the humor issue. that means there is twice as much funny stuff in there. i love the funny stuff!

what are some highlights from your week so far?

shawn and i have begun a new venture - screen printing. so far i've done a onesie for asher and a tank top for avery. both have this giraffe that i know how to draw. we're still working on how to do this and they look very amateurish but it's fun and a creative outlet. it'll be great if we can figure this out. right now, shawn is freehand painting a design on one of his shirts. it looks cool.

a certain baby boy slept 7 hours straight last night! i couldn't believe it. AND, avery stayed in her bed all night last night. last night was the closest i've come to a full nights sleep in MONTHS. one of these days i'll go to bed and not wake up until the sun is shining.

uh, creth...pacie = pacifier.

latah,
sim

poor kid can't catch a break

if i were avery, i'd be ready to throw in the towel. it just hasn't been her summer and just when we thought it would get better - it goes out with a BANG!!

after spending weeks without her daddy and having to deal with a mom w/short temper and new baby that takes all mom's time, she's been sick.

The last week of July she has some weird skin deal. it looks like hives, comes and goes and itches. Sweat makes it worse, clothing makes it worse, living makes it worse. She gets bumps on her stomach. they don't go away.

On Tuesday, August 1st, we have a neighborhood event. Avery gets a spider bite on her ankle. Ankle swells to ungodly size. she spends a few days getting around on her knees and whining. one bonus: more time with beloved pacie.

Thursday, Aug 3rd, we take the kids to the dr. Asher for his two month check up (4 shots!! and one oral vaccination) and Avery to have the spider bite checked and the mystery rash. Spider bite is better. Body will break the protein venom down and she'll be fine. Rash is some sort of virus. Shawn calls them "stars" - way to go dad! She likes that name.

Sunday, August 6th - helping dad water the plants before bed. Has shoes on. you guessed it - another spider bite ON THE SAME FOOT! i sure was shooting some nasty looks at shawn. i mean, c'mon!

Tuesday, August 8th - we're about to head to a neighborhood life meeting. Avery starts complaining that her throat/mouth hurt. i take her temp - 102. i go to meeting alone. shawn stays with the kiddos. Tuesday night is miserable. Her temp hovers around 103.

Wednesday, August 9th - Still high temp and now i notice sores on her lips and tongue. Take her to doc. they test for strep - negative (i've never seen that test but i knew it couldn't be good when the nurse asked me to pin her legs between mine, hold both of her hands with one hand and hold her forehead with the other). it was the worst 2 seconds ever! as we are waiting on the results, doc comes in, takes one look and says, "not strep but a virus that will make her miserable for the next few days". nothing they can give her, just keep fluids and pain medicine in her. Wednesday night - misery continues.


Thursday, August 10th - she's hungry but doesn't want to eat. it hurts too much. ugh, my heart is breaking. praying a lot!! daddy goes to build-a-bear for a special "feel better bear" after going sailing for the first time with a friend (that's okay - i told him to go!). the bear is a huge success, she eats a little dinner and actually sleeps.

Friday, August 11th - wakes me up by putting a frozen italian ice cup on my face and telling me she wants "this one for breakfast". I follow her to the kitchen and she has chosen one for her new bear, Snuggles (or maybe Blue Bear - that's what's she's calling him today). He is in a booster seat, ready to go. Glad to see she is feeling better but i tell her she's got to eat something healthy. i get half a bowl of pink oatmeal down her and she wants to try a cereal bar dipped in her chocolate milk. yeah, i know but whatever - she's eating! No fever and she is a little more herself. She ate lunch and is in bed for a nap.

I hope the end is in sight and that this virus is not cruel and tricking us into believing she's getting better while planning a violent return. we're stir crazy...

on a lighter note, check this site out www.themakesite.com this place looks so cool. once i can get asher to take a bottle - i'm taking a class.

back to my chips and guac,
sim

ah, blessed rain...

you came with a mighty roar but we still could not make you stay long. Even though, we were thrilled by your visit. Please, come again soon and stay awhile.

2 weeks, no sweets.

Today we rearranged some at the house. made our "formal dining room" into a tv room. i think we'll like it like this. it sure opened up our family room.

so check this out - i got a check today for the "mechanical license" for my song. actually, all the guys in the band got one but hey, it was still pretty darn cool. and i have no idea what a mechanical license is...

i'm scraping the barrel tonite. geez.

testing with a photo

My first posted pic! Watch out, bubba - another chef in the family!

smiley face

asher is smiling! woohoo! stick your face in front of his and you're welcomed by a great big grin and coo. love it - and just in time as shawn gets home late tonight.

it makes me mad that you think its ok to do what you're doing
so what if "that's just who you are" .
who i am says you're wrong and you need to face up to the life you're in.
who's gonna tell that little girl that her daddy don't love her cuz
"that's just who you are".

you made a promise and committed.
sorry if it's not what you thought.
you've gone along and done things wrong
should've thought more about it at the beginning
but now it's not about you, no more what you want.
you took her in and made her yours and now you've got a baby.
so go home, make right, pour your heart out to your wife.
she can't do it all, she needs you to love her and that precious little girl.
you can do it, we all can do it.
just let go and start diggin' your heels in.
this is your job - get it right!

uh, had to get that out of my system. it's been a long day for a friend. why do we think we can so easily walk away from our commitments? i know we all would love to be able to "get out" when things are hard but there is so much at stake. it makes me crazy and so sad b/c so often those precious little ones are stuck in the middle - some of them too little to even know it yet. if you read this, please please pray for this situation. i trust that details don't need to be known in order to ask the Holy Spirit to intercede so please take a moment and lift this family up and beg God to work a miracle.

blog envy

i am seriously suffering from blog envy. as the few of you know who read this thing, i don't write often and i really don't visit other people's blogs too much either. i enjoy them when i do but i just don't take the time very often.

well, tonite i did a little blog visiting and let me tell you - i'm sooo jealous! my friend chrys has got the BEST blog ever! wonderful pictures, witty repartee and the cutest kid. AND she blogs like every day. i can't even think enough to blog every day. i can't even imagine what i would talk about. but she has the best things to share and well, i don't even know how to post a stupid picture on here.

grumble, grumble, grumble.

other than that, this afternoon was a good one. avery took a break from whining and complaining every chance she had to actually having fun with me. i do have to admit though, i didn't hold asher as much today as usual and i really think that made the difference. the minute i pick him up or feed him, she becomes grumpy, loud and very needy. i guess i understand but man, it can wear you out quick! of course i had to fight the guilt feelings of putting asher in the swing for a long time and sticking him on the little floor gym whatever it is. hey, he did okay and i was more relaxed for it. i too often try to hold him to keep him quiet while trying to do EVERYTHING else. I end up dropping stuff, making a mess and just getting downright ticked off and guess who gets the brunt of it - poor Avery. oh the lessons i'm learning daily. and the voices i'm trying to filter through. praise God that Shawn gets home from his summer travelling this weekend!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and who the heck said you'd be more relaxed with your second one????

2nd day with no sweets

made it through the first day with no sweets. and i've been eating sweets like crazy over the past 6 weeks. i've got to get this craving under control. i looked on the calendar and 8 weeks will take me to september 17th. it'll be interesting to see how it goes and if i can kick the sweets cravings! i did go buy fresh fruit to snack on. i really love fresh fruit (yummy watermelon). i'm also trying to watch portion size. i'm 5 pounds away from where i started before getting pregnant with asher but that is at least 10 pounds heavier than i was before avery so i guess i've got at least 15 pounds to lose.

i'm also gonna join a gym and start working out again. it'll be good "me" time. i just want to feel good and it wouldn't hurt to be thinner!! let the good times roll...

6 weeks down, 1 week left and we're a fam again!

so, asher is 6 weeks old - crazy! and shawn is in his last week of camps. this week has been tough but it has gone by pretty fast.

i hate this - i have nothing to write about. well, maybe i have a lot but i'm just not witty enough or focused or something. or maybe its the crazy way that my kids know exactly when i actually want to do something. asher has been asleep for awhile now but as soon as i sit down, he starts crying

so i think this is funny that all of the guest hosts on "the view" have been black. well, maybe not all of them, but the ones i've seen. i know it sounds random but i'm watching "the insider" right now and they had a clip from the view.

poor miss puerto rico - to be 18 and look like that! i watched a little of the pagent last night and of course felt oh TTTTTHHHHHIIIIISSSS BBBBIIIIIGGGG. those gals are nutso thin! and so pretty.

more random brain activity.

i read in readers digest that it only takes 8 weeks to change your taste buds. i'm gonna give it a try. starting today, i'm not eating sweets and limiting my sugar to more natural sources (i love fresh fruit). no sweets. i'm gonna see if after 8 weeks i don't want them anymore or even that they don't taste good. we'll see.

anybody seen good movies lately?

toddlers, babies and NO SLEEP

i'm exhausted. got 3 hours sleep last night on top of nights of the same amount of time. poor avery has an ant bite on her toe and that woke her up at 3 am and i couldn't get her back down until 9:45 this morning. luckily she did nap until after 1 pm.

Asher Andrew is here and living life to the fullest (drinks that milk, sleeps the hours away and fills his diapers nonstop) - the dream life of any 10 day old. He is a cutie and pretty darn cuddly. if he had his way, he'd be held all day.

My brain is mush. I can't even think. Words aren't even coming to me. What a good night's sleep wouldn't do for me.

Sorry, that's about all i can muster right now. i'm having to backspace more than type so i must call it quits.

32, june 12th and it's a boy!

i'm 32 today. looking at that number in writing is sufficiently uncomfortable. like everyone else crawling around on this planet, i don't feel like it! i dunno, maybe sometimes i do. i think the point is we see ages in a certain light and when we personally arrive at one, the rules don't seem to apply anymore. the number becomes unimportant. we are who we are and we will always kinda feel like the same person as we were when we were 10, 20 and so on. thanks to shawn for a tasty steak lunch (my tummy would not have handled it this evening). i'm home, avery's napping and shawn is "running an errand". we'll head back out to "play" this afternoon.

got the word from the doc yesterday that we will be scheduled to induce baby boy davis on the 12th of june. i must admit i was thrilled when he said that date. i am so ready to have this baby and get on with things. i think i really just want to lose this weight and wear normal clothes and be able to bend over and play with avery without feeling like my stomach is burning or that i'm gonna throw up. i don't know if it's because this pregnancy has spanned 2 years or what but it has felt like an eternity. for heaven sakes, i found out i was pregnant Halloween weekend! that was a lifetime ago. so, praying all goes well, the baby will be here on the 12th, he'll have a name and i'll begin the road to recovery.

another treat at yesterday's appointment - angie was there and found out what she is having. it's a boy! crazy that two sets of cousins will be same sex. avery and olivia at 5 months apart and these two boys at 3 months apart. i think it'll be good. i'm just amazed at how many cousins avery is gonna have so close to her age. this is coming from someone who has one brother, one grandmother, one aunt and two parents - can you say small family?? my daughter has the benefit of 4 grandparents right now, 3 uncles, 2 aunts and presently 1 cousin with 2 more on the way and a brother arriving soon. it's gonna be a learning experience for me in how to exist in large families and love it. i really do receive all of this as a blessing. i used to hope to marry into a bigger family and it's been fantastic to watch it grow. plus we are all in the dallas area so we're relatively close.

later!

bad watermelon

that sums today up. not a great day in the davis household. we all just woke up on the wrong side of the bed. i don't feel good - should be 9 months along instead of this crummy 7 mos. can't breathe and have constant indigestion. i dunno if i'll make it until june. yuck!

avery is just cranky. and shawn was woken up by the annoying and persistent sound of hammers as they build the house next door come hell, high water or day break. on top of that, we're trying to pull our tax stuff together and found out we're missing a w2. looks like we'll be filing for an extension. shawn is having trouble finding some of his documentation from his business too. that has put us all in the stress press.

my house is a mess and i just can't find it in me to clean it. there are pockets of clutter everywhere. makes my blood pressure rise.

it looks like it's about to rain. i'll believe it when i see it.

a good thing - ran into a dear friend at the store and we ended up having lunch. it was great on multiple levels: 1) got to catch up with her 2) got the chicken salad sandwich i've been craving for a couple of days now. she looks fabulous - is losing weight and seems happy! she recently sold a business that has been a major stressor. i think that is doing her a world of good. anyway, that was a sweet spot in a blah day.

gonna try a new recipe tonite. i love when i first go to the store - endless possibilities!!

oh yeah, and the bad watermelon: bought one today. just a little while ago, cut into it - slimy, orange and fermented! AAAHHHHH!! do you take it back? don't really want to trek up there with a nasty, smelly piece of fruit.

Lost and found

Yesterday, i thought our sunday school - oh, excuse me - ABF lesson was really great. the teache taught out of Luke 15 - the lost and found chapter. it contains the 3 parables: the lost sheep, lost coin and lost son, or prodigal. Jay, the teacher made some observations about those stories that i had never heard/considered.

the lost sheep: the sheep didn't intend to stray. he just looked up and before he knew it, he had wandered off the beaten path. kinda like at the beach. if you don't pay attention, you'll be a mile down the beach, just coasting.

the lost coin: the coin had no idea it was lost and no idea that it was valuable. the woman searching frantically for it did. how many folks 1) don't realize they are lost and 2) don't realize their value. Thank God that He does and He searches high and low to bring us back into His possession.

the lost son: intentionally left. this story is such a beautiful example and picture of grace and love. i know so few of us would be able to wait and wait and wait for a wayward soul to return and then extend not an ounce of discipline nor "i told you so" but love, love and more love. God sits back and waits while we wander off to see the world and squander what is ours. He doesn't guilt us into coming home. He doesn't spend His time plotting our demise. He simply watches (love that) and waits. And when we muster up the strength to recognize that life "out there" sucks, we find Him scanning the horizon for our return.

so, whether we find ourselves sadly off course, never really knew we were missing to someone or just had to "get out of here to find ourselves", our Father longs to convince us that we've been FOUND.

i pray that the truth of His overwhelming love and grace and desire to be your Father stays with you today!

sim

veggied out

it's time for VEGGIE TAAALLEESS!

How do i put this lightly? Avery is obsessed with Veggie Tales. We have two of the Silly Songs videos and that is all she wants to watch. I guess there is worse that she could want to see, but these songs have been permanently etched in my brain - and hers! she is always walking around singing one of the songs. it's funny b/c she'll decide she doesn't like the one with the "hairbrush song" and just HAS to watch the one with the "cheeseburger song" and vice versa - finicky already. this morning she is blaming her stuffed pig on not liking one or the other.

like i said, not the worst thing to be stuck in her head.

Shawn's new toy showed up this week. A new laptop arrived on Monday. We were in the backyard when Shawn heard the ups truck lumber up the street. I tell you what, he dropped everything (well, a big red ball) and dashed to the front door to surprise the driver with a "you're a good a man!" It's a nice computer - he likes it. we started watching a movie on it - it was nice. Now i've inherited his old vaio laptop and he has yet to figure out where he's gonna put the desktop (but we're keeping it, by golly!).

I'm still waiting on my toy...but since it's not a business expense, who knows when it'll be. but, hey, if my job is to entertain people in my house...maybe a new couch IS a business expense! I've told shawn he has until the baby comes to get me a new couch. He laughs, but i'm not kidding. so if any of you can use your pursuasive powers on my hubby, i'd be forever grateful.

adios all! have a good friday.

rain, rain and more rain

but it's great - if you are at home.

just heard on the news that a poor woman lost her life in this weather. so crazy b/c you just don't expect that it's gonna happen just cuz of some rain. flash flooding i guess can be a pretty serious deal.

yeah, so, i don't have anything else to say.

happy st. patty's day...

and all that jazz.

i don't know if i have anything green to wear.

biscuits are baking in the oven, avery is sitting in her stroller wanting me to push her down the hall and shawn is still in bed.

yesterday i was sick - yuck.

i have 3 more months left of this pregnancy and that is WAY TOO LONG! I don't think i'm gonna make it.

i've done a bracket for ESPN basketball. i know nothing about this tournament but it's fun to see how many points i can get just by being random. hey - not in last place right now. last year i beat shawn - makes it all worth it.

too many flies in the house. shawn and avery went on a fly hunt last night - very funny. shawn swinging a paper and avery shouting, "yay, dad! you got it!" or "oh no you missed". we left the back door open all afternoon b/c of the beautiful weather and they paraded on in.

our sweet neighbors made dinner for us last night which was a huge blessing b/c i couldn't stomach the idea of food AT ALL! I love little blessings like that!

Just finished the most amazing book - The Robe by Lloyd C. Douglas. If you can handle over 400 pages, it is sooooo worth the read. One of my all time favorites now. I had never heard of Douglas before - seems he has written quite a few "known" books. And a few of them have become movies. It would be so great to be a storyteller like that!

Um, just a few entries - random but succinct in their own paragraph!

love ya ang!

things i'm bad at...but God still loves me.

everyday i'm bombarded with my lack of ability to be perfect, or even pleasingly good. needless to say, it bugs. so last night when i woke up at 3 in the morning, i started thinking about things i'm not good at. instead of letting it beat me up, i decided to face them head on, admit it and remember that i'm still loved. it was kinda cool and freeing. of course i don't remember my wonderfully witty list, but here are some of the things:

1. corporate prayer: i never really get into the groove nor really focus when a group (church, sunday school, dinner time) is praying. i agree and kinda nod my compliance but i'm not moved to a spiritual place. lately i've figured out that if i lie on the couch on my back with minimal lighting, this is my most focused place of prayer and talking with God.

2. keeping my house clean: i have great expectations - they just remain unrealized. it's a good thing we live in a brand new house. it takes awhile for the dirt to accumulate. and not just dirt, because i've been consistent about cleaning the bathrooms, but it's all the clutter. walk into any room in my house and there is too much stuff laying around. i'm amazed at people who don't seem to have much stuff. where do they hide it all? shawn and i both suffer from throw away anxiety. the minute we toss it - it'll be needed.

3. maintaining a positive attitude: mood swings are my best friend. actually, as i've aged, i've gotten more even but pregnancy has thrown that out the window. little things throw me off balance and i don't recover too quickly. the grumps follow shortly and i'm as serious and burdened as a stone statue. really gotta work on this one.

4. finishing anything i start...

5. conversation: this one just plain frustrates me. i'm way too self conscious and hear myself talking. that gets me distracted and embarrassed and i shut down. plus i have all of these thoughts swirling in my head and that's where they stay. they don't come out in an orderly fashion. there is constant bottle necking. i'm really quite impressed and jealous of people who can just talk - about anything. i can't.

6. turning the tv off: working on this one. so much junk i don't want my 2 year old to see. and, obviously i don't need it anymore than she does.

7. eating: love food. eat too much.

an inexhaustive list and hey, God still loves me, and so does my husband and my daughter. i'm blessed.

just when you thought it was safe...

i'm back...maybe...i dunno, we'll see.

so much transpires over a few months. so much doesn't happen over that same amount of time.

i'm trying to reconnect with the "thinking" me. it got lost somewhere between marriage and motherhood. i used to be bogged down and burdened by my thoughts. now i can't seem to stay on topic long enough to produce anything more than a shallow skim of my surroundings. it's crazy. i used to hope and pray that i would stop thinking so much and now i wish there was a little more going on in that brain of mine. can one develop ADD this late in the game?

i've posted before about author Anne Lamott. I've been reading another of her books this week and i'm so "aaahhh". she is so darn uncomfortable and i love it. she looks nothing like our churchgoing brothers and sisters. cuss words and embarrassing stories, very liberal and unconventional - very northern california. but i wouldn't trade this feeling or the challenge she creates in my heart. her love of God is so real that i can't deny that she knows Jesus and relies on Him in a more consistent REAL way than i ever have. she drinks in life - all of it! that makes me jealous. whereas i'm running from one place to the next (or simply sitting on my butt), not connecting with God or others, she is doing the same thing but being made the better for it.

Honesty - that's what she has learned and keeps as a constant companion. i cringe at her revelations and stories and blatant exposure of her weaknesses. rock on! i want that! so i've decided - no more praying for faithfulness or patience or whatever christiany word comes out. i'm gonna ask that God make me know honesty and truth in my inner most being. then maybe i won't attack my husband b/c i feel ugly and unattractive. my dream is to tell him straight up what's got me down and not make him tiptoe around until he's so pissed it turns in to war. maybe then i'll be able to truly be nice to my mom and not act so put out all the time. ugly, ugly, ugly. and the list goes on and on and on...

yep, honesty is the best policy. not the easiest and for darn sure not the most rewarding. but it's got to be better than skimming the surface of self-reflection and involvement.

there ya have it...