birhtday schmirthday

i'm still in that fuzzy wake up haze. my eyes are bleary, the zit on my chin hurts and i probably should get back in bed.

but here i am.

i've got a bit of a birthday hangover. i wish it were from cake, ice cream and receiving lots of presents. no, its from unmet expectations.

i hate expectations. they always seem to let you down.

not that my birthday was a bad day - it just wasn't the stuff that dreams are made of. a sick child, no luck shopping, needing to say, "i need some me time" but feeling guilty for even thinking it. losing my temper. of course, ALL of this spurred on by raging hormones from my good ol' aunt flo (i feel positively adolescent using that term!).

last night, as my day was coming to a close, i told shawn that i wanted to celebrate on another day, a happy simri day. no water weight, no expectations, no problem finding something to buy. he sweetly agreed that was a good idea.

i've got 364 days to make it happen.

there were some silver linings:

- Cheesecake Factory for lunch
- trying on Lucky Brand jeans in a size I haven't worn in many moons. How great to walk in to a store, have the young sales guy look you up and down and declare, "you're long and lean, so we'll try these jeans." He also mentioned my "Cute figure" (hey bud, i'm old enough enough to be your...aunt!) and brought me lots of skimpy tops and jeans with the price tag tucked neatly out of sight. I applied good ol' biblical wisdom and "guarded my heart". no matter how good i felt, i just can't bring myself to pay over a hundred bucks for any one piece of clothing. I think Shawn actually would have let me get them. Or maybe I was a victim of reverse psychology. Either way, i left empty handed but feeling good.
-Chocolate chip cookies and ice cream. For me, cake just doesn't cut it the way warm chocolate chip cookies and milk do.
-Avery sang "Happy Birthday" to me. That might seem simple but the girl has an aversion to that song. She bursts into tears when it's sung to her on her birthday. She hides her face at other birthdays when the song is begun. But for me, she sang proudly, loudly and with gestures!
-Being remembered by friends and family! Thank you!

So, in hindsight, it was a good day.