Friday, February 23, 2007

Feeling beautiful

Last night as i was feeding asher before bed, my mind was bouncing from one thought to the next. I was thinking about how asher is changing and becoming more discerning in who he is around - the beginnings of stranger anxiety. Avery was a pro at this, asher has been much more accomodating. We had some neighbors over for dinner last night who we don't know well at all. I was finishing feeding asher some sweet potatoes when the couple got there. I stepped away to say hi or do something and the man tried to engage Asher. Well, that little lip turned out, his eyes scrunched up and he just started bawling! Truly, the first time he's done that. Once i stepped back over to him, he settled down, but was leaning towards me. Only momma would do at that moment.

So, fast forward to bedtime in his room. I thought about how beautiful it makes me feel when my kids want me and only me. Sure, there are times when it wears me out and i wish that any and everyone would do to comfort them, but if i really think about it, i feel like the most beautiful person ever b/c i'm desired!

I have this problem with putting too much emphasis on outward appearance. I'll never be thin enough or pretty enough and i wrap up too much of my significance in that. I get jealous of pretty, cute, thin moms b/c i feel like they are worthy of being desired, but not me. So, it was super sweet of God to show me that being loved and desired by those that matter and for reasons other than appearance are lie-shattering and soul-feeding to the nth degree. I just relished that truth and those feelings for a little longer than usual last night and held asher's little hand a bit tighter before putting him to bed.

Girls, let your family's love and your God's love make you feel BEAUTIFUL! You are!!

2 comments:

olivia and henry said...

beautiful post, sim!!! and you are so right! God has given us amazing little children and incredible husbands and we can learn so much from the depth of our love for them, and their love for us...it is all so beautiful! love you, sim!! can't wait to see you. ang

Honeycutt Family said...

Great post, Simri. It is funny that before I had kids I was always uncomfortable when they cried and would quickly hand them back over to their Mommy. Now, when Grace cries, I feel so blessed and confidant and loved that it is usually only me that can soothe her. I relish this time and dread the day when she will push me away during raging teenager hormones.