from some moms

Jess, sweet friend:

"What a great question. Isn’t it funny how we are always looking for our own identity? When we were dating “I am his girlfriend.” An engagement ring “I am his fiancée.” A white dress/ a honeymoon & “I am a wife!” A positive EPT/ trips to maternity stores “I am pregnant.” A ride home from the hospital with an occupied car seat “I am a MOTHER!!” We get to that mother stage and realize all that is involved then think who are we? Feeding, cleaning, changing, dressing, shopping, more cleaning all without little thank yous throughout the day???????

Several things help me. First when I start to take inventory around me, I am reminded that “comparison leads to discontentment.” Not sure who said it, but I have it on a tape in my head all the time. Secondly, I love to go back to some of my favorite Bible studies like Denise Glenn’s Motherwise. This is where it gets easy to spiritualize the “question of identity.” Her study is heavy in scripture that is blatant in pointing out our identity in Christ as wives/mothers. Nancy Leigh DeMoss Lies that Women Believe is another heavy hitter for me. We are to be helpers to our husbands. If it is good enough for God “as our helper” than we can do it too. So that is the sermon I have to keep listening to when I start to question my identity.

Currently one of my favorite things to do that is all mine is… working out and trying to get ready for another triathlon. I love leaving the house while everyone is still sleeping and working out with girlfriends. Arriving home sweaty but refreshed before anyone is even awake. Having that solid 1 ½ to 2 hours all to myself with no interruptions.

There are other things I get to do sans children like a monthly BUNKO group, Bible studies, women’s ministry, volunteering in the community, date nights with Joe. Honestly, right now I just look at this time as a season. I have five years with each child before they are in school. I guess I think that the older they get, the more time I will have for me as I am preparing them for their autonomy and identity. Truly though, my identity through Christ at this time is a mom and wife. That is what I signed up for as I often forget. "

Your friend on this journey!
Jess
We best glorify God in the manner He says we best glorify Him. We don’t determine how we best glorify God. God determines that, and so we need to look at God’s heart—His heart for male and His heart for female, His heart for authority, His heart for leadership. We need to look at all that and say, “God, you tell me how I best glorify you, and I will bring myself in line with that.”
Mary Kassian


from my sweet sis-in-law, Angie:

"i have a few thoughts...a few things that i have decided to do.they are pretty simple, and though each of them are different, i feellike as they are all apart of my life, they really end up workingtogether...towards one goal.as a woman, i have wanted to have influence. God has given us the giftof influence. i am a member of our "women's council" at church, whichconsists of about 25 women, all different ages and seasons of life. wepray for the women in our church, plan events for our women, andbasically do all that we can to build up our women's ministry. this issomething that i feel has helped me, in maintaining my own sense ofself, as i can serve all sorts of women, now and later on in life.as a mom and a wife, i have wanted to be intentional, strong, andwise. i have committed to dive in with a group of women at church, ina bible study called "a mother's heart" which is full of all sorts ofraces, socio-economic statuses, life stages, personalities, looks~ youname it. it is a DIVERSE group. and i love it. it challenges me inways that most other groups have never done before. we don't talkabout where we shop, if our kids nap, or the color of our hair or sizeof our body~ we talk about our character. about the sin in our life.we get down to it!!! ALL of it. this has helped me to maintain mysense of who i am as a woman of God, a wife, a mother and friend.and then one last thing i would list, would be reading. right now i'mreading "don't waste your life" by john piper, and it is blowing meaway. the Lord is convicting me, on several different areas of mylife. here is a quote that i read this past weekend, that i just can'tstop thinking about... "Not to show people the all-satisfying God isnot to love them. To make them feel good about themselves when theywere made to feel good about seeing God is like taking someone to theAlps and locking them in a room full of mirrors."anyways, i'm sorry for rambling...just wanted to share with you thosethree things that i feel like the Lord is using in my life to keep megrounded and growing...as a person. He is stretching me so much justby being a mom and a wife, that at times i feel like if i can just payattention moment by moment, and listen to His Spirit as He teaches me,i will be complete and "lacking in nothing"."

From Jen, a friend:

"What a question for the ages! Some days I wonder, "Is this really my life?" Some ways that have helped keep me sane is: MOPS (Mothers of Pre-Schoolers), weekly playdates with other moms, and women's Bible studies. Cameron Crawford has started hosting MAMs (Moms and Martinis) once every 2-3 months and it is sooooo fun! A bunch of women with food and drink and chit-chat. She invites neighbors, church members, people she meets in the grocery store, EVERYONE. Then towards the end she has everyone sit around in a circle and introduce themselves and answer a question (i.e "Who is a woman you admire or inspires you?") It is a great night away.Well, there is my 2 cents. :)"

Thanks!